E não é que o Locke ganhou um rap só sobre a vida dele?

E é sensacional, hilário (mas só assista se você tiver visto até a 5ª temporada de Lost):

John Locke, I’ll never tell you what you can’t do

Vamos lá, todo mundo cantando junto a letra!

The John Locke Rap

Born on dark day in ‘56
John Locke’s entire life had many conflicts
An unknown man behind a steering wheel
Struck John’s own mother with an automobile
Being pushed on a stretcher to a hospital room
She whispers to the nurse “I’ve got a child in the womb”
This accident alone, was hard enough to endure
But then she gave birth… 3 months premature!
Since raising a child at her age would be rough
Locke’s mother made a choice that was incredibly tough
The young John Locke went into foster care
And he’d draw weird pictures, just of smoke in the air
Then one day the young Locke had a guest
But the man stormed off once john failed his test
The man had no idea, 50 years from then
That John would be a leader, taking over for Ben

John Locke
You’re a man of faith and destiny

Several years before his fateful flight from Sidney
John Locke’s own pops stole his motherloving kidney
The old boy meets girl in anger therapy
One look and locke said “Shes my density”
Al Bundy’s wife and the voice of Leela
Helen Norwood Lockes little heart steala
But you know how it goes, always the same with the hos
She peaced and left John Locke to sit and stew in his woes

After receiving his Dear John Letter
Locke headed due west for some sunny Cali weather
He found acceptance one afternoon
When he stumbled upon a humble farming commune
He met a little buddy that he thought he could trust
But his little buddy eddie was the piggy-wiggy fuzz
Locke had the cults back, when they were pushing dope
But when told to kill the narc, our hairless hero said “nope!”

John Locke
Some say you look like Mr. Clean

Setting out to deal with his daddy issues
He was crying too much, running out of tissues
John set up a meeting with his dear old dad
Showed up to confront him in his eighth story pad
Just as the answers were starting to flow
He tombstoned his boy right through the window
He fell from the skies, to the earth where he lies
Snap crackle pop, Locke was paralyzed

No love from his girl, his dad, or his mum
The appendages that sit below his waist are numb
Locke gets around in a chair with wheels
Now you know how Stephen Hawking feels
On 26 inch rims hes rolling straight to the bottom
Faith, Hope, Dreams, Our boy Locke has forgot ‘em
Cursed by fate and plagued with doubt
What else to do? Go on a walkabout

John Locke
I’ll never tell you what you can’t do

John’s boss Randy is a box store tool
Tell’s locke he cant do it, treats him like a fool
When he calls up Helen… he says he wants to bring her
Turns out that this Helen is a his phone-sex swinger
Flying to Australia he meets his guide
Who tells John Locke that his journey’s been denied
“Your a liability, You just won’t make it through”
and John Says “Don’t ever tell me what I can’t do!”

His life is in the dumps but at least hes alive
As he rolls on board oceanic 815
Halfway home John’s flight goes down
And everybodys screaming cause they think think their gonna drown
When he comes to Locke is laying in the sand
Surrounded by wreckage on some whack island
Where they at? only heaven knows
Just then John Locke goes and wiggles his toes

John Locke
It makes me sad, I wish you were my dad

Locke finds a new life amongst the tropic scenery
and begins an epic quest to fulfill his destiny
He finds a hatch with his homie named Boone
Who tumbles off a cliff one afternoon
Pushing a button. Our Locke is a hero
He enters the code before the clock hits zero
John’s led to the Others, Richard, and Ben
Only a matter of time before he’ll be leading them

Time is slipping like a needle on a vinyl
And Jack’s dad tells him that this quest will be his final
To set things right, hes gotta bring back the six
What a shame he has to die to accomplish this
Feeling suicidal, all his pleas were ignored
Ben gets the job done with an extension cord
So where do we stand is he dead or alive?
I dont know man, I’m just on season 5…

Não sei se sou só eu, mas achei o rapper barbudo A CARA do Dominic “Charlie” Monaghan.